For so long I just wanted to spread positivity. I consciously didn’t share anything negative through social media or in my day to day interactions with others. I thought “this isn’t what I want to focus on.” Then something started to stir inside of me. It just didn’t feel quite right to always ignore the negative.
I realized that maybe by sharing only the positive, I wasn’t inspiring people as I had hoped. Although some people may feel inspired, perhaps in only sharing the positive I was also depicting a false image. By only sharing a small portion of my life I’m not showing the whole picture. In my experience, when it appears someone has it all together and has it all figured out, it makes me feel like crap!
Now that’s not to say I want to share everything in my life because many experiences are private and sacred. Or just too personal. However, there are many things that I go through that I am comfortable sharing and may inspire others even if they aren’t the most “positive”.
I am very skeptical when a person appears happy all the time because we human beings are far more complex and beautiful than that. We are all a mix of love and fear and beauty and pain and happiness and sadness and anger and joy- an amalgamation of ALL of it. No one is happy and fulfilled 24/7 unless perhaps they are a robot. Or a cartoon character.
I post positive things because that’s what I want to spread BUT I don’t want to pretend like my life is all sunshine and laughter all the time. Despite my multitude of facial expressions I am no cartoon character.
So it dawned on me. It isn’t necessarily positivity I want to spread, it’s AUTHENTICITY. Being authentic means being truly you. Letting your inner music play. Letting your true light shine. Whatever metaphor works for you!
I believe inside all of us, at our core, is a unique life force waiting to be expressed. Just look at newborn babies. They are infinite potential. YOU were that small once. YOU have that potential still, even if it’s buried underneath a lot of life experience now.
We are all born with an essence and that essence is beautiful no matter what form it takes. The more authentic each of us is, just maybe the more we can inspire others to do the same. If we each let our inner music play, and if each of our songs is unique, together we can create the most beautiful symphony.
So in the spirit of authenticity how am I really?
Right now in my life- I love being a mom. I am also deeply grieving my grandmother. I am confused about the next steps in my career and wondering how to balance that with being a mom. I am very confident in motherhood and in my creative voice. I am also very insecure in motherhood and my creative voice!
I am so happy to have my husband and baby and dog and the life we have here in NYC. I love our home and our neighborhood and couldn’t think of a better place to raise Emily. Sometimes though I feel isolated from my family and friends outside of the city.
Today I feel great. Some days I feel sad and I’m not sure why. Today I can write. Other days I have nothing to say.
Are any of these feelings special to me? No. I’m sure many people out there are feeling a lot of the same things.
So anyway, that’s where I’m at and that’s all I want to say. I hope you all have a wonderfully authentic day!