Challenges and Beauty

It’s a challenging time.

I’m 37 weeks pregnant with lots emotions and physical pains. Meanwhile I’m caring for a three year with all of her emotions and processing about getting a new addition to our family. My husband’s working hard to support our family while also offering lots of support at home. Our dog Romeo seems to be responding to all the changes too! He’s been more destructive when we’re out so I’ve had to keep him in my bedroom when we leave.

We are all doing our best, but it’s hard!

I’m not looking for sympathy or advice. I just think people don’t talk about these hardships enough, which why I am sharing now.

Honestly, sometimes my best doesn’t look so great. Like yesterday when I was losing my patience trying to get Emmy and me out the door. I was surprised when Emmy responded to me by talking me through taking a balloon breath, something I do with her when she’s feeling big emotions.

“Mama, are you frustrated?” Emmy asked me.

“Yes I am. I’m very frustrated. I just want you to get on your coat and shoes so we can leave.” I told her.

“Don’t worry, mama. You just need to calm your body. Fill up your balloon. What color is it?”

I’m kind of taken aback. “Hm. It’s purple.”

“I’m sorry I don’t have a purple balloon but here’s a red one.” She grabs a pretend balloon and places her hands on my belly. We take a deep breath together and let it out slowly like a balloon slowly releasing air.

“Thank you Emmy. I feel better now.” I really do actually.

We hug for a while. I tell her thank you. Then we get on her shoes and coat and are out the door.

There are lots and lots of chaotic moments. Loud moments. Frustrating ones. Ones I’m not proud of. Mixed messily within them are moments like this one. Where my three year old circles back and teaches me what I’m forgetting. And it’s during those moments that I remember again that it’s all worth it. It’s all beautiful. It’s motherhood.

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