Ryan’s all fed and clothed and surrounded by toys. I know he’s totally fine, yet he cries and whines as I rush to brush my teeth and perhaps apply a bit of mascara so I don’t look as tired as I feel. I feel his whines and his cries in my bones.
I tell my husband- every day I feel like there’s a meter running. Either Ryan is crying as I try to accomplish something or he’s napping and I don’t know when he’ll wake up. Or, he’s perfectly content and then Emmy needs something. I’m constantly running on borrowed time.
Since Ryan’s my second baby, I do know it changes. As he grows and becomes more independent, time slowly opens up again.
One day I’ll brush my teeth in peace again. For now, the meter’s running and I’m on my children’s time. I’m on their beautiful, slow, wondrous time.