I woke up this morning feeling pretty damn good because Emily slept past 6am. Yahoo! Then I looked in the mirror, and here’s what I saw. I could not help but laugh. It’s okay, you can laugh too.
This one is for all the moms, dads and human beings out there wondering how some people seem to have it all together. I’ll let you in on a little secret… NO ONE does! To be human means to have days like today where I most definitely do not have it all together.
This photo is what happens when the only time I have to shower is after Emily has gone to bed, and then I am just too tired to do anything with my hair. Hellooooo world! Check ME out.
Today I am thankful for coffee, food delivery, and Emily’s cuteness which makes reading “Baby Babble” a thousand times in a row bearable. There is no one I’d rather read with while caffeinating myself up than you Miss Em!
This morning as I tried to brush my teeth Emily repeatedly tried to grab the toilet wand. When I attempted to make breakfast she discovered how to open the kitchen drawers. Then, when I tried to sit down and pay bills, in a split second she grabbed Romeo’s rather large water bowl off the kitchen table (which had been placed there because she’s always trying to spill it) and she poured it all over her head.
This all happened before 8am.
I’m equally exhausted and amused! If this is only the beginning of her toddler shenanigans I can only imagine what is coming next. Oh how tired I am and oh how much I love her!
I type this with one hand as Emmy sleeps in my arms. To think a year ago she hadn’t even arrived!
2016 started with the birth of our sweet baby girl which changed the course of our lives forever. Ten weeks later came our first nephew and godson Miles.
By summer we settled into our new home. I watched my best friend marrying the love of her life, and saw our friends’ welcoming their baby girl, Aylya. The summer ended with the loss of my grandmother, the strongest woman I knew.
Then came the birth of our friends’ baby boy, Lee. And the arrival of one of my oldest friend’s baby boy, Jake. Now the year ends with our nephew Preston Ryder arriving just in time!
There was so much new life! (Welcome also to Juliette and Gemma!) There was also death. There was LOVE. There was pain. There was everything in between.
To all of my family and friends near and far who have been so supportive this year as I settled into new motherhood, I love you!
Nanna, I hope you’re watching us today and celebrating with us. Farewell 2016! Onward to 2017. Let’s see what you may bring.
I heard being a mom was exhausting but I never could have imagined the constant underlying tiredness that is always chasing me. Even after some sleep it’s still there. Today I found myself daydreaming about taking the worlds longest nap- just sleeping all day. Oh how amazing that would be! But now Emmy is taking a nap (praying it’s a long one!) and I’ve had my lunch and what do I do? I look at her picture.
If judgment were a texture it would be sticky. It would be like the oatmeal I give to Emily in the morning. I sometimes find some stuck on her cheek later in the day. I usually don’t even notice it’s there until I feel it, and then it takes a little effort to wipe it off. It does come off though.
Judgment is just like that pesky oatmeal!
This week I had a conversation with another mom. We have very different parenting styles and as I spoke to her I felt a twinge of judgment directed towards me. And, if I’m honest, I sent that twinge of judgement right back to her. I don’t think she agreed with what I said, and I certainly didn’t agree with what she said. We were polite and smiled and moved on.
That evening once Emily fell asleep and I had a moment to myself I noticed the lingering feeling of being judged. I doubted myself and my perspective. Then I sat with it for a while and noticed that yes, my perspective was different from hers, but it was right for me and for Emily.
There are so many ways to parent. Every mom is different. Every child is different. There is no way to fully understand the parenting choices of another, nor should I have to. All I can do is make the best decisions for myself, my daughter and my family- and when I notice some judgment stuck on me, I simply have to wipe it off and move on.